Sunday, November 14, 2010

To Forbid or NOT To Forbid???

To Forbid or NOT to Forbid

I am in a serious quandary guys. I need some advice.

My adopted dad lives on the 7 acres attached to our 7 acres, so the kids can just run across the pasture and go see Grandpa. They LOVE going over there. He plays lots of games with them; Scrabble, Dominoes, cards..He taught them all to play Chess and Cribbage. And he loves watching movies with them. All things he did when I as a kid also.

So what is my problem right?

Unfortunately, he also has NO respect for my husband and I as the PARENTS. I don't allow my kids to drink soda (except on special occasions) but I said they could have ONE soda when they go over to Grandpa's. I told HIM this as well. Then the kids come home and tell me (Thank God, they still like to share everything with me) that they had 2 or 3 while over there.

He also lets them watch movies he KNOWS I don't approve of, but the worst part isn't even that he continually ignores our rules for our children.

The WORST part is that he setting a horrible example for them by showing them it's ok to be disrespectful to us and NOT follow our rules by saying things like "oh your mom is just being silly, here have another soda"  or  " your mom is just overreacting, this movie is fine"  or "oh I know you like this movie but we can't watch it cause your mom is overreacting again"

And THEN, when the kids DO tell me and I have a talk with my dad (YET AGAIN), he always tries to turn it around and say oh well THEY said it was ok. To which I reply, but I already told YOU that it wasn't.

And the next time the kids go over there, he jumps all over them for being 'tattle tales', so much so that when they DO tell me stuff now, they beg me not to call Grandpa or they will get in trouble. And I also very clearly remember what his temper is like. Thank God, he is not NEARLY as bad as he was when I was a kid, and if he EVER actually hit my kids, there wouldn't be any hesitation on whether or not I would forbid it...but..

I KNOW the kids LOVE their Grandpa. And I KNOW that he loves them too. Of that I have no doubt. And I would HATE to have to forbid my children from seeing their Grandpa (besides the fact that, that once again..makes ME the bad guy) but I am at my WIT'S END!!!

Am I supposed to just let this go?? Allow him to completely disregard my rules for my children and completely disrespect me and my husband in front of the children????

HELP!

Monday, November 8, 2010

Too Busy??

Everyone, myself included, needs to be reminded of where their priorties should lie. I know just how easy it is to get caught up in the busy-ness of life. To tell the kids, "Not now, I have to finish the laundry, or clean the kitchen, or cook, or whatever it is I am doing at that moment"

Although I am sure this isnt exactly how it happened, I believe this has some definite truth to it.

Heres hoping it at least makes you think...

Satan called a worldwide convention of demons. In his opening address he said, "We can't keep Christians from going to church."
"We can't keep them from reading their Bibles and knowing the truth."
"We can't even keep them from forming an intimate relationship with their Savior."
"Once they gain that connection with Jesus, our power over them is broken."
"So let them go to their churches; let them have their covered dish dinners, BUT steal their time, so they don't have time to develop a relationship with Jesus Christ.." 
"This is what I want you to do," said the devil: "Distract them from gaining hold of their Savior and maintaining that vital connection throughout their Day!"
"How shall we do this?" his demons shouted.
"Keep them busy in the non-essentials of life and invent innumerable schemes to occupy their minds," he Answered.
"Tempt them to spend, spend, spend, and borrow, borrow, borrow."
"Persuade the wives to go to work for long hours and the husbands to work 6-7 days each week, 10-12 hours a day, so they can afford their empty lifestyles."
"Keep them from spending time with their children."
"As their families fragment, soon, their homes will offer no escape from the pressures of work!"
"Over-stimulate their minds so that they cannot hear that still, small voice."
"Entice them to play the radio or cassette player whenever they drive."
"To keep the TV, VCR, CDs and their PCs going constantly in their home and see to it that every store and restaurant in the world plays Non-biblical music constantly."
"This will jam their minds and break that union with Christ."
"Fill the coffee tables with magazines and newspapers."
"Pound their minds with the news 24 hours a day."
"Invade their driving moments with billboards."
"Flood their mailboxes with junk mail, mail order catalogs, sweepstakes, and every kind of newsletter and promotional offering free products, services and false hopes.."
"Keep skinny, beautiful models on the magazines and TV so their husbands will believe that outward beauty is what's important, and they'll become dissatisfied with their wives."
"Keep the wives too tired to love their husbands at night."
"Give them headaches too!"
"If they don't give their husbands the love they need, they will begin to look elsewhere."
"That will fragment their families quickly!"
"Give them Santa Claus to distract them from teaching their children the real meaning of Christmas."
"Give them an Easter bunny so they won't talk about His resurrection and power over sin and death."
"Even in their recreation, let them be excessive."
"Have them return from their recreation exhausted."
"Keep them too busy to go out in nature and reflect on God's creation. Send them to amusement parks, sporting events, plays, concerts, and movies instead."
"Keep them busy, busy, busy!"
"And when they meet for spiritual fellowship, involve them in gossip and small talk so that they leave with troubled consciences."
"Crowd their lives with so many good causes they have no time to seek power from Jesus."
"Soon they will be working in their own strength, sacrificing their health and family for the good of the cause."
 
"It will work!" "It will work!"
 
It was quite a plan! The demons went eagerly to their assignments causing Christians everywhere to get busier and more rushed, going here and there. Having little time for their God or their families. Having no time to tell others about the power of Jesus to change lives. I guess the question is, has the devil been successful in his schemes?
 
You be the judge!!!!! 
Does "BUSY" mean: B-eing U-nder S-atan's Y-oke? 

Friday, October 8, 2010

LAUGHTER - It's good for the soul!

REMEMBER! A belly laugh a day will keep the doctors away (except those in white coats hehehe)

So I am sure you have figured out by now that I think laughter is VERY important. So occasionally, I will just post something here that will get you laughing!!

This one cracks me up...I doubt it's true but DAMN is it FUNNY!! And the scary part is, I can TOTALLY see my husband doing some of these things LOL

In fact, I made the mistake of reading it to him at one point, and immediately saw the light bulb over his head (hmmm I could do that...oh I could definitely do that..) LOL Needless to say, I don't take him shopping if I don't have to ;-)

For your reading pleasure....The Target Incidents
Enjoy!!

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
 
 After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany
 her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like
 most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to
 get in and get out.
 
 Equally unfortunately, my wife
 is like most women - - she loved to browse.
 
 Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter
 from the local Target.
 
 Dear Mrs. Samsel,
 
 Over the past six months, your husband has been
 
 causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot
 
 tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban
 
 both of you from the store. Our complaints against
 
 Mr.Samsel are listed below and are documented by our
 
 video surveillance cameras.
 
 
 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them
 in people's carts when they weren't looking.
 
 2 . July 2 : Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares
 to go off at 5-minute intervals.
 
 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
 leading to the women's restroom. (EWWWW LOL)
 
 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in
 an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it
 right away.'
 
 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to
 put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
 
 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to
 a carpeted area.
 
 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping
 department and told other shoppers he'd invite them
 in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the
 bedding department.
 
 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help
 him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you
 people just leave me alone?'
 
 9. September 4: Looked right into the security
 camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his
 nose.
 
 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting
 department, he asked the clerk where the
 antidepressants were.
 
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
 while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible'
 theme.
 
 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced
 his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of
 funnels.
 
 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when
 people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
(ok now THIS is funny LOL)
 
 14. October 21: When an announcement came over the
 loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and
 screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
 
 And last, but not least.
 
 15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the
 door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey!
 There's no toilet paper in here."
 
 
 
 Regards,
 
 Tom Richards
 
Target Manager

Sunday, October 3, 2010

My Soapbox (And YES, it has a ramp) ;-)

The definition for the word handicapped is ~ To cause to be at a disadvantage; impede.

I wonder how many people really think about what it means to be 'handicapped'. I admit, I probably didn't think about it much either before my accident (see first post).

I have been in a wheelchair now for 8 years but the only time I FEEL handicapped is when I am faced with a situation like I faced yesterday.

My daughter is a Peewee cheerleader, which means traveling to other schools for the 'away' games. The high school we went to yesterday was so ill-equipped that I could not enter or exit the stadium on my own. I could not get into the restrooms on my own. I could not reach the stands on my own, in fact I couldn't get INTO the stands AT ALL. I had to sit in my wheelchair, on the track, for the entire game. It was atrocious!
It made ME want to cry, now can you imagine if that had been a CHILD being forced to endure that??

Do you know what makes a physically challenged person FEEL handicapped?? It's not the physical challenge itself.  It's the inability to do the most basic tasks ON YOUR OWN, like going into a restroom. I am almost 40 years old, I don't want to have to ask someone for HELP to get into the bathroom for crying outloud!

I am not asking for SPECIAL treatment. I understand that we live in the country, that a lot of these places are small country towns. But I also understand that this is not some third world country where people aren't aware of the laws and needs of the physically challenged. This is 2010 (closing in on 2011) in the United States of AMERICA, and people need to understand that pouring some cement and shaping it in something that resembles a ramp does NOT make it handicap accessible!

I know there may be some of you out there who think I am overreacting. That I need to put on my big girl panties and deal with it ;-) But I want y'all to sit and think about something.. When I was 31 yrs old, married 10 yrs, 3 kids already, I certainly didn't think I would ever find myself as a Right leg, above the knee amputee, wheelchair bound, for the rest of my life.

You and you and you and even YOU need to realize that this CAN happen to you or your spouse or your kids. Most likely, someone in your life WILL become wheelchair bound or Walker dependent at some point in your life.

I don't want to become the person that everyone hates to see coming ( oh noo its the handicap nazi again), but neither can I just let this pass. What I really want to do is make people AWARE so they can voluntarily fix the problems that need to be fixed before it has to come down to fines.

I guess maybe I should become an Accessibility Consultant ;-) Businesses could hire me to come in and test everything about their business, letting them know exactly what needs correction and how it needs to be corrected :-) Hmmm , I may have to seriously think about this one :-)

Thursday, September 30, 2010

My Background

Hey Y'all!! ok this is my first post on my first blog ever! I have had quite a few people ask me to start a blog. So here I am...I think it's just their way of telling me I talk a lot ;-) hehehehe  But before we begin, we have to get something VERY important out of the way :-) In order for y'all to understand my posts and my sense of humor, there are a few things you need to know about me. Below you will find a story that I know several of you have already read but that may be worth another go around :-) I will give y'all a couple days to get the reading done and then.... LET THE BLOGGING BEGIN ;-) LOL

My Accident

You know those 'Get to know you' surveys that make the rounds in emails and posts? I have seen many that have questions like 'What was your best day? What was your worst?'

For me, I suppose you could say they are the same day.

October 13, 2002. The day of my accident.

The worst day, for obvious reasons. I almost DIED because of an idiot drunk driver.

The best day, for maybe not so obvious reasons. I ALMOST died because of an idiot drunk driver. But I didn't.

I do not share my story to bemoan what I have gone through or to complain about my life in any way. I have nothing to complain about. I share it to inspire, give hope, make you laugh and perhaps teach you that,even in the most traumatic of situations, laughter truly is one of the best ways to handle things. But mostly I share it to Glorify God. To show you what amazing things HE can and will do in your life. God doesnt MAKE bad things happen but if you trust in Him he make amazing things come OUT of 'bad' things.

So here is the story.. sit back... relax....

Think back in time..... October 2002...

Mark and I had been married for 10 and 1/2 years and we had three kids, Isaiah, Branden and Ansley. We were living in Valencia California. It was a Sunday, the Angels and the Giants were in the world series against each other. I remember because I was listening to the game on the way to oxnard that day. I had to run to Oxnard to pick up some chairs from my mom and stepdad and see Ondee for a few minutes too. Mark decided to stay home with the kids.

I got what I needed and headed back to Valencia on the 126. If you don't know the 126, it is one of those 4 lane (2 on each side) highways running through farm country. No lights. Very curvy.

By now it was about 7 pm on a moonless night so it was pitch black. I was on the 126 between Santa Paula and Fillmore. I never had a chance to react because I NEVER saw them. At the apex of one of curves I had a 130 mile per hour FULL ON head on collision. There were no brakes involved, it was full speed.

The drunk driver (big surprise there huh) apparently decided to drive in my lane going the wrong way to pass the other traffic. The drunk driver and his drunk passenger were both 3 times the legal limit drunk and they both died instantly. Their car was actually 5 FEET shorter after the impact then it was before.

As for me, believe it or not I never blacked out. I even remember the impact (which everybody says is strange). I believe God allowed me to remember it so I can share it with others because it was an amazing experience. I know that sounds strange considering what I was going through but I knew as soon as the impact started what had happened, instantly what went through my head was "Lord I need you" and I felt the most incredible sense of peace come over me. The best way I can describe it is - think of the most wellmade expensive goose down comforter you can imagine - now imagine it enveloping you from head to toe completely. Or as my kids put it, God was hugging you Mama.

I could feel my arms and legs breaking but I had no pain. I wasn't sure at first whether I was going to live or die but I was completely at peace no matter what because I knew where I would be going.

The impact ended and almost immediately there was a man at my driver's door on his cellphone calling 911. I could hear him saying "Yes there is woman in this car and she's hurt bad and I think she's pregnant" Leave it to me... I turned my head and said "I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat" haha

The EMTs and Fire department showed up and it took 45 minutes with the jaws of life to cut me out of the car. The whole time I am bleeding out bad. But again, I tend to laugh at everything so I told the rescue workers while they were cutting me out that I figured since I had never broken a bone, I should just break all of them at once :-)

As it turned out, both my wrists were broken, a couple of ribs, my left thumb, my left ankle in two places, and EVERY bone in my right leg. In my right leg, my femur actually out through my kneecap and I had a big hole in my ankle. Amazingly, I never even had a scratch on my face though.

By the time they got to the trauma ER I was in pretty bad shape from the amount of blood I had lost. At this point I don't remember much of anything for the next week. I know they started blood transfusions right away. I know it was touch and go for a couple of days and I know that I had to have several surgeries to try and put me back together. I was in ICU for a week but I ended up in the hospital for 2 and 1/2 MONTHS before I could go home.

They put metal in both wrists and they healed fine. I have metal in my left ankle and it healed fine too. The tried to fix my right leg with more metal than you can imagine. I went home in a wheelchair because my right leg still wasn't working. I wasn't out of the hospital 2 weeks when an infection that I picked up in the hospital came to light. It was in the bone of my right leg.

While in the hospital, another condition came to light also. One that also caused by the accident and one I had never heard of.. Fibromyalgia. I didnt have any idea what it was, I just knew that I was in the most horrific pain 24 hours of every day, literally.

I was on medication to keep the pain under control as well as trying to deal with the infection.

The docs tried Antibitorics and surgery after surgery to get rid of the infection. About 6 months after the accident I got an even bigger surprise...

I was pregnant. Scared the daylights out of me lol. I know you arent supposed to question God but this was one of those times when I asked...ummm are you SURE about this God?? LOL But of course He was and He was right as always.

But it wasnt easy. I had to continue on antibitoics (I gave them to myself through IV at home). But when I was 6 months pregnant the infection threatened to go Septic...meaning that it was moving from my bone into my blood, which would have killed both Lain and I.

I was immediately hospitalized. For the next 6 weeks I had 3 surgeries back to back while I remained in the hospital under constant watch for the baby's sake.

As scary as that was, I was confident and comfortable that God was in control. And He was, Lain was born and he was perfect, even after everything we had gone through and everything that had been put into me (was STILL being put into me).

It was now a year and half after the accident. I was still in a wheelchair, still had a bone infection in my non working right leg and now had a new baby. LOL At this point, God had put on my heart that I was going to lose my leg. I KNEW it and I was OK with it.

So I sat my husband, Mark, down and had a talk with him. I explained to him that I knew this was going to happen and wanted to make sure he was ok with it. He looked me straight in the eye and said to me, with a completely serious expression, 'Of course honey. You know that wont make a difference. I just have one favor to ask'. I said what. He said ' well, when they cut off your leg... will you change your name to Eileen?' (As in I LEAN) LMAO And NOW you know WHY I love that man sooo damn much LOL I had not laughed so hard in a long time.

Unfortunately, the doctors didnt see it the same way. So for the next 2 years, as I continued to bring up amputation, the doctors kept wanting to try something else. 2 more years of IV antibiotics and another 15 surgeries (on top of the 10 or so I had already had). Finally near Christmas of 05 we were Blessed with the amazing opportunity to move to the country in NorthEast Texas (and thats a whole story in and of itself lol). The doctors in CA were about to perform their LAST ditch effort to fix my leg. They completed the surgery near Christmas and released me to move in February.

Finally, in February of 06 we moved to Texas and within 2 weeks my leg went from bad to worse. I went to one ER and was told that they couldnt help me, had never seen anything like it. So they sent me to another Orthopedic Surgeon, who said the same thing. I finally ended up in another ER in Dallas. Once again, God was ever Faithful. Just so happened that the Surgeon on call that night is a world renowned orthopedic surgeon. It didnt take long for him to tell me that he didnt see any other option but amputation. I just said Thank God. LOL

In fact, I was SO relieved that after the amputation, while I was recovering in the hospital, the nurses wanted to order a Psych evaluation for me because they had never had a HAPPY amputee patient LOL. At least until my docs nurse explained to them what I had already been through.

Now when people ask us why we moved to TX from CA we tell them that among other things, it cost an ARM and LEG to live in CA. In TX, it only costs a LEG. LMAO ;-) Now come ON.. that is FUNNY LOL

It has now been over 3 years since the amputation. We have tried a prosthesis, had a revision surgery and tried a prosthesis again. Unfortunately, that is not to be due to a problem stump. It doesnt bother me in the slightest. I get around great in the wheelchair. The hardest thing to deal with now is the Fibromyalgia. But I have a rheumotologist that helps and seem to have gotten the medication combination that at least keeps it bearable. Although, it is unlikely that I will ever know what it is like to be pain free again and there are definitely times when the intensity of the Chronic pain is overwhelming, I have learned to smile and laugh through most of the pain.

Oh and last but not least, the drunk driver... unlicensed and uninsured.

All that being said, I feel like one of the most blessed people in the world. I have an amazing husband, 4 great kids, a wonderfully supportive family and church family. I love where we live (7 and 1/4 acres and the most beautiful land you'll ever see) :-) I thank God every day for what He has given me so losing my leg to me is pretty minor.

Through all of this, nobody would have blamed me for having a pity party, for being angry or depressed. But I would have. What purpose would that serve. I am not saying I don't have my moments when the pain (which I am unfortunately in every single minute of every single day of my life) gets to me and I have what I call one of my 'mini breakdowns'. I go in a room by myself and yell and scream in a pillow, cry as much as I want and ask God why. Then I get over it and go on with my life.

Something I have said to my kids many many times and I that I hope and pray that they learn....

You can't always control what happens to you but you CAN control how you react to it and how you let if affect you. With Faith in God, and alot of laughter, anything is possible.

I hope this can be an inspiration to even one person.

God Bless you all