Thursday, September 30, 2010

My Background

Hey Y'all!! ok this is my first post on my first blog ever! I have had quite a few people ask me to start a blog. So here I am...I think it's just their way of telling me I talk a lot ;-) hehehehe  But before we begin, we have to get something VERY important out of the way :-) In order for y'all to understand my posts and my sense of humor, there are a few things you need to know about me. Below you will find a story that I know several of you have already read but that may be worth another go around :-) I will give y'all a couple days to get the reading done and then.... LET THE BLOGGING BEGIN ;-) LOL

My Accident

You know those 'Get to know you' surveys that make the rounds in emails and posts? I have seen many that have questions like 'What was your best day? What was your worst?'

For me, I suppose you could say they are the same day.

October 13, 2002. The day of my accident.

The worst day, for obvious reasons. I almost DIED because of an idiot drunk driver.

The best day, for maybe not so obvious reasons. I ALMOST died because of an idiot drunk driver. But I didn't.

I do not share my story to bemoan what I have gone through or to complain about my life in any way. I have nothing to complain about. I share it to inspire, give hope, make you laugh and perhaps teach you that,even in the most traumatic of situations, laughter truly is one of the best ways to handle things. But mostly I share it to Glorify God. To show you what amazing things HE can and will do in your life. God doesnt MAKE bad things happen but if you trust in Him he make amazing things come OUT of 'bad' things.

So here is the story.. sit back... relax....

Think back in time..... October 2002...

Mark and I had been married for 10 and 1/2 years and we had three kids, Isaiah, Branden and Ansley. We were living in Valencia California. It was a Sunday, the Angels and the Giants were in the world series against each other. I remember because I was listening to the game on the way to oxnard that day. I had to run to Oxnard to pick up some chairs from my mom and stepdad and see Ondee for a few minutes too. Mark decided to stay home with the kids.

I got what I needed and headed back to Valencia on the 126. If you don't know the 126, it is one of those 4 lane (2 on each side) highways running through farm country. No lights. Very curvy.

By now it was about 7 pm on a moonless night so it was pitch black. I was on the 126 between Santa Paula and Fillmore. I never had a chance to react because I NEVER saw them. At the apex of one of curves I had a 130 mile per hour FULL ON head on collision. There were no brakes involved, it was full speed.

The drunk driver (big surprise there huh) apparently decided to drive in my lane going the wrong way to pass the other traffic. The drunk driver and his drunk passenger were both 3 times the legal limit drunk and they both died instantly. Their car was actually 5 FEET shorter after the impact then it was before.

As for me, believe it or not I never blacked out. I even remember the impact (which everybody says is strange). I believe God allowed me to remember it so I can share it with others because it was an amazing experience. I know that sounds strange considering what I was going through but I knew as soon as the impact started what had happened, instantly what went through my head was "Lord I need you" and I felt the most incredible sense of peace come over me. The best way I can describe it is - think of the most wellmade expensive goose down comforter you can imagine - now imagine it enveloping you from head to toe completely. Or as my kids put it, God was hugging you Mama.

I could feel my arms and legs breaking but I had no pain. I wasn't sure at first whether I was going to live or die but I was completely at peace no matter what because I knew where I would be going.

The impact ended and almost immediately there was a man at my driver's door on his cellphone calling 911. I could hear him saying "Yes there is woman in this car and she's hurt bad and I think she's pregnant" Leave it to me... I turned my head and said "I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat" haha

The EMTs and Fire department showed up and it took 45 minutes with the jaws of life to cut me out of the car. The whole time I am bleeding out bad. But again, I tend to laugh at everything so I told the rescue workers while they were cutting me out that I figured since I had never broken a bone, I should just break all of them at once :-)

As it turned out, both my wrists were broken, a couple of ribs, my left thumb, my left ankle in two places, and EVERY bone in my right leg. In my right leg, my femur actually out through my kneecap and I had a big hole in my ankle. Amazingly, I never even had a scratch on my face though.

By the time they got to the trauma ER I was in pretty bad shape from the amount of blood I had lost. At this point I don't remember much of anything for the next week. I know they started blood transfusions right away. I know it was touch and go for a couple of days and I know that I had to have several surgeries to try and put me back together. I was in ICU for a week but I ended up in the hospital for 2 and 1/2 MONTHS before I could go home.

They put metal in both wrists and they healed fine. I have metal in my left ankle and it healed fine too. The tried to fix my right leg with more metal than you can imagine. I went home in a wheelchair because my right leg still wasn't working. I wasn't out of the hospital 2 weeks when an infection that I picked up in the hospital came to light. It was in the bone of my right leg.

While in the hospital, another condition came to light also. One that also caused by the accident and one I had never heard of.. Fibromyalgia. I didnt have any idea what it was, I just knew that I was in the most horrific pain 24 hours of every day, literally.

I was on medication to keep the pain under control as well as trying to deal with the infection.

The docs tried Antibitorics and surgery after surgery to get rid of the infection. About 6 months after the accident I got an even bigger surprise...

I was pregnant. Scared the daylights out of me lol. I know you arent supposed to question God but this was one of those times when I asked...ummm are you SURE about this God?? LOL But of course He was and He was right as always.

But it wasnt easy. I had to continue on antibitoics (I gave them to myself through IV at home). But when I was 6 months pregnant the infection threatened to go Septic...meaning that it was moving from my bone into my blood, which would have killed both Lain and I.

I was immediately hospitalized. For the next 6 weeks I had 3 surgeries back to back while I remained in the hospital under constant watch for the baby's sake.

As scary as that was, I was confident and comfortable that God was in control. And He was, Lain was born and he was perfect, even after everything we had gone through and everything that had been put into me (was STILL being put into me).

It was now a year and half after the accident. I was still in a wheelchair, still had a bone infection in my non working right leg and now had a new baby. LOL At this point, God had put on my heart that I was going to lose my leg. I KNEW it and I was OK with it.

So I sat my husband, Mark, down and had a talk with him. I explained to him that I knew this was going to happen and wanted to make sure he was ok with it. He looked me straight in the eye and said to me, with a completely serious expression, 'Of course honey. You know that wont make a difference. I just have one favor to ask'. I said what. He said ' well, when they cut off your leg... will you change your name to Eileen?' (As in I LEAN) LMAO And NOW you know WHY I love that man sooo damn much LOL I had not laughed so hard in a long time.

Unfortunately, the doctors didnt see it the same way. So for the next 2 years, as I continued to bring up amputation, the doctors kept wanting to try something else. 2 more years of IV antibiotics and another 15 surgeries (on top of the 10 or so I had already had). Finally near Christmas of 05 we were Blessed with the amazing opportunity to move to the country in NorthEast Texas (and thats a whole story in and of itself lol). The doctors in CA were about to perform their LAST ditch effort to fix my leg. They completed the surgery near Christmas and released me to move in February.

Finally, in February of 06 we moved to Texas and within 2 weeks my leg went from bad to worse. I went to one ER and was told that they couldnt help me, had never seen anything like it. So they sent me to another Orthopedic Surgeon, who said the same thing. I finally ended up in another ER in Dallas. Once again, God was ever Faithful. Just so happened that the Surgeon on call that night is a world renowned orthopedic surgeon. It didnt take long for him to tell me that he didnt see any other option but amputation. I just said Thank God. LOL

In fact, I was SO relieved that after the amputation, while I was recovering in the hospital, the nurses wanted to order a Psych evaluation for me because they had never had a HAPPY amputee patient LOL. At least until my docs nurse explained to them what I had already been through.

Now when people ask us why we moved to TX from CA we tell them that among other things, it cost an ARM and LEG to live in CA. In TX, it only costs a LEG. LMAO ;-) Now come ON.. that is FUNNY LOL

It has now been over 3 years since the amputation. We have tried a prosthesis, had a revision surgery and tried a prosthesis again. Unfortunately, that is not to be due to a problem stump. It doesnt bother me in the slightest. I get around great in the wheelchair. The hardest thing to deal with now is the Fibromyalgia. But I have a rheumotologist that helps and seem to have gotten the medication combination that at least keeps it bearable. Although, it is unlikely that I will ever know what it is like to be pain free again and there are definitely times when the intensity of the Chronic pain is overwhelming, I have learned to smile and laugh through most of the pain.

Oh and last but not least, the drunk driver... unlicensed and uninsured.

All that being said, I feel like one of the most blessed people in the world. I have an amazing husband, 4 great kids, a wonderfully supportive family and church family. I love where we live (7 and 1/4 acres and the most beautiful land you'll ever see) :-) I thank God every day for what He has given me so losing my leg to me is pretty minor.

Through all of this, nobody would have blamed me for having a pity party, for being angry or depressed. But I would have. What purpose would that serve. I am not saying I don't have my moments when the pain (which I am unfortunately in every single minute of every single day of my life) gets to me and I have what I call one of my 'mini breakdowns'. I go in a room by myself and yell and scream in a pillow, cry as much as I want and ask God why. Then I get over it and go on with my life.

Something I have said to my kids many many times and I that I hope and pray that they learn....

You can't always control what happens to you but you CAN control how you react to it and how you let if affect you. With Faith in God, and alot of laughter, anything is possible.

I hope this can be an inspiration to even one person.

God Bless you all